Dimitri loved his father. He admired his strength, and wanted to emulate it. He wanted his father's praise, his approval. It's not that he didn't want Patricia's approval -- or Ossie's -- but it's so much less conditional. He could be weak, and afraid, and lost with his stepmother in a way he never could with his father. He can be weak, and afraid, and lost with Ossie.
Still, he hesitates again, afraid of stepping out of line. He's being ridiculous. Compared to Ossie he's a paragon of manhood. He's a killer, obvious when he tangles his battered fingers on his lap. A knight, a prince, a future king.
... but he's more of a monster than any of those things.
"My father was -- exemplary, in many ways. Everyone tells me I how much I resemble him. They -- I must live up to his example. But I ... I'm not. They have no idea how much I can't. I'll never ... " His voice strangles itself to a whisper. "I don't know if I want to."
"You are your own person," Ossie soothes, "you needn't be anyone but that, whoever that is. In my home, certainly, at least."
He rests his hand on Dimitri's shoulder, trying to be a comforting weight and not simply something else he must bear.
"I certainly expect nothing more of you than your manners and excellent company. And you've exceeded my expectations on that. I hold no pretenses about what and who you ought to be."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-03-31 11:42 am (UTC)Here's how Ossie reminds him of Patricia:
Dimitri loved his father. He admired his strength, and wanted to emulate it. He wanted his father's praise, his approval. It's not that he didn't want Patricia's approval -- or Ossie's -- but it's so much less conditional. He could be weak, and afraid, and lost with his stepmother in a way he never could with his father. He can be weak, and afraid, and lost with Ossie.
Still, he hesitates again, afraid of stepping out of line. He's being ridiculous. Compared to Ossie he's a paragon of manhood. He's a killer, obvious when he tangles his battered fingers on his lap. A knight, a prince, a future king.
... but he's more of a monster than any of those things.
"My father was -- exemplary, in many ways. Everyone tells me I how much I resemble him. They -- I must live up to his example. But I ... I'm not. They have no idea how much I can't. I'll never ... " His voice strangles itself to a whisper. "I don't know if I want to."
no subject
Date: 2023-04-05 09:27 am (UTC)He rests his hand on Dimitri's shoulder, trying to be a comforting weight and not simply something else he must bear.
"I certainly expect nothing more of you than your manners and excellent company. And you've exceeded my expectations on that. I hold no pretenses about what and who you ought to be."