"Back home, I was given an essay of hers to read. 'On self respect'," and he makes a point of wincing because it was not one he was given as a fun beach read.
"Wish I had it here, she writes terribly eloquently. The key to it was that fostering a healthy self respect means acknowledging your mistakes, living with them, and assigning them their appropriate weight. Understanding that you are not uniquely flawed, that your loved ones aren't irredeemably blind for failing to notice your defects, nor are they uniquely generous or empathetic for forgiving you for them. Much prettier out of her mouth, I'm afraid. You know back when the memory portals were opened, I aided in torturing Dimitri for a frankly allegoric amount of time?"
He takes a long sip of his tea. Just to take a moment.
"Myself in the past did, in any case. And worse, he met a version of me before all of my nasty unseemly damage. Gah. Dreadful. Worst case scenario. The very worst version of me, and the version I am certain everyone would prefer. Terribly charming fellow, that one. But... even so. Seeing the worst of what I am capable of, and seeing my best days long behind me, he prefers to know me as I am. To consider me his friend. He's not an unintelligent boy, his judgement is usually better than most. So I suppose if I am to continue to trust in him, I must simply trust that there are reasons he cares for me now. Does that make sense? Terribly sorry, still getting used to the whole-" vague wavy hand-gesture, "telling the truth about things. Awful. Like pulling teeth. Utterly uncharming."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-10-26 04:45 am (UTC)"Wish I had it here, she writes terribly eloquently. The key to it was that fostering a healthy self respect means acknowledging your mistakes, living with them, and assigning them their appropriate weight. Understanding that you are not uniquely flawed, that your loved ones aren't irredeemably blind for failing to notice your defects, nor are they uniquely generous or empathetic for forgiving you for them. Much prettier out of her mouth, I'm afraid. You know back when the memory portals were opened, I aided in torturing Dimitri for a frankly allegoric amount of time?"
He takes a long sip of his tea. Just to take a moment.
"Myself in the past did, in any case. And worse, he met a version of me before all of my nasty unseemly damage. Gah. Dreadful. Worst case scenario. The very worst version of me, and the version I am certain everyone would prefer. Terribly charming fellow, that one. But... even so. Seeing the worst of what I am capable of, and seeing my best days long behind me, he prefers to know me as I am. To consider me his friend. He's not an unintelligent boy, his judgement is usually better than most. So I suppose if I am to continue to trust in him, I must simply trust that there are reasons he cares for me now. Does that make sense? Terribly sorry, still getting used to the whole-" vague wavy hand-gesture, "telling the truth about things. Awful. Like pulling teeth. Utterly uncharming."