ossie_oswald | Come Sail Away Inbox

Hey Ossie, do you know anyone who goes around in a blindfold?

This is April btw we met the day after the beach party.

April

Oh April exclamation point

Thank God she mentioned her name, he'd almost entirely forgotten and that would've been an embarrassment beyond measure.

Terribly sorry old thing I must not have put you in my contacts list stop
Now as for someone blindfolded I do have to inquire as to why you're asking me stop
It's a fashion statement too bold for me stop

Ossie

Don't worry, I have that effect on people. Literally.

Boy, it's a shame they kinda like Ossie, because these decorum types are always real easy to mess with.

C'mon Ossie, I bumped into you leaving presents for everyone like an easter bunny for hangovers, you can't tell me you're too anti-social to have a read on half the ship, especially anyone interesting enough to wear a blindfold.

Another small blessing- he's just going to write a little note for himself as to how he ran into her so this painful embarrassment doesn't happen again.

April

Be that as it may comma anyone on the ship is the owner of their own tale stop
If you've an interest in someone you ought to speak to them directly stop
That courtesy extends both ways comma if someone were to ask about you I would tell them to speak to you directly stop
I do hope you're not too disappointed stop

Ossie

god damn this charming word-keeping bastard-

I don't want her life story, I just want to know

You ever see the hit animated Disney classic Fox and the Hound? Think of this as a fox wanting to know how strong the hound next door's commitment to hunting is. Don't need to know the pedigree or even really the training, just how safe you'd feel around her if you were a fox.

April

You know I seem to recall one of the key parts of that film being the friendship between the aforementioned fox and hound stop
In fact comma that was the whole reason for the waterworks towards the end stop
Any foxes and hounds in this situation is purely proverbial wot stop
There are only people who really ought to talk to other people stop

Ossie

April legitimately spends five minutes just lying back on their couch with their phone on their chest, staring at the ceiling. God damn it. April hates getting taken down by their own setup. There, they said it, they acknowledged it. Goddamnit.

If someone ever asks you about me could you send me a transcript or something of you giving them the same runaround? I'd love to know what this looks like from the outside.

April

Now now comma a gentleman never kisses and tells stop
You'll just have to luxuriate in the knowledge that I'm doing it at all stop
Because I will if anyone does ask stop
Ones privacy in these kinds of matters is of vital importance stop
It applies to everyone or nobody at all stop

Ossie

Yeah, yeah, and I'm glad you're like a vault. Honestly, neat to see you stick to your word, refreshing to see. Merci beaucoup and all that.

And another two minutes before April finally concedes.

Ok fair enough. Guess this fox is going to find out how much of a prey drive the hound has. Cheers.

wait nevermind they're shit at letting things go, one more follow up:

Seriously though would a 'she's nice don't worry' or a 'look out if you're a monster' be so bad?

(I know, I know, I'm just griping here.)

April

By all means gripe away stop
Just don't expect my answer to change stop
Anyone could ostensibly be a monster or could hurt us comma that's just the risk we take with any stranger stop
We are only rewarded when we choose to trust beyond concern for our own safety and self interest stop
Good luck stop

Ossie

Thanks, man. 👍👍

There is, of course, more April wants to say, but they've been hard-blocked enough times now to almost feel embarrassed about it, so they'll finally take the hint and the L.

A final message a few minutes later, just to show there's truly no hard feelings here either:

Also let me know if/when you feel like opinionating on the big names of our respective worlds again sometime, I'm good whenever. 👍🍸

hey. i herd about wat happened with jiles. i jus wanted to let you know its absolootly not your falt and if you need to talk to someone im here. wat he did to you was awful, and its a reel shit to have to deel with.

Blast and bloody hell- my sincerest apologies, I've been wrapped up in this Giles business so tightly as of late that one could embalm me and put me to rest in the bloody valley of the kings.

Are you quite alright, Bash? I imagine you've run into him or Erin if you've heard. 

I myself am... 

I couldn't burden you with it. I'll be alright, I still remember some of the tricks my therapist taught me back home.

Nevertheless I appreciate the offer.

Please do stay safe and take care of yourself.

ive run into giles. ive run into erin. jeffs pozest too. look i didn't reach out for fun cuz i hate too text i kno i sound like a fuckin idiot when i do. when this is over if you need to talk i will make time and space for you because what you expeerienct is tramatick. and that matters and someone oughta heer you out if you need a voyd to screem into.

hey ossie something is wrong with sharky hes not him can u warn giles? he was talking about getting him in the hot tub but its not sharky i dunno what hell do.

Deputy Pratt

Lucky for all of us, Giles isn't himself either.
Or unlucky.
Some luck in the truest sense of being neither good nor bad but fate lining up in the infuriating way it so often does.
I'm sorry to hear that about Sharky, really I truly am, and I hope with all of my heart we find some way to get them both back to their usual selves.
Do stay safe, please.

Ossie

Bash, you do not sound like an idiot.
English is a language cobbled together from the worst parts of several European languages with hidden rules and nonsense spelling.
You aren't any more of an 'idiot' than I am, the only difference between us is that I had spelling and grammar caned into me when I was a boy, and I wouldn't have wished that on you or anyone else.
I appreciate the offer, it is very kind of you, and I may very well at the least ask to talk over tea (and coffee).
You needn't reply if you don't feel up to it, but please stay safe. And I hope that we find a way to return both of them to their regular selves.

Ossie

oh shit thats fancy wait fuck i already messed it up Ossie, whats wrong w/ giles? same thing? ill let u know if my plan for dealing with sharky works Deputy Pratt

Deputy Pratt

Thank you, usually I format my messages like a telegram to let people laugh at the old fuddy duddy but I'm afraid I just don't have the stomach for it presently.
To put it bluntly I have no bloody idea.
He wasn't acting himself, but I have no way of knowing what the cause is.
If Sharky is similarly effected, then Occam's razor would suggest the same root cause.
I wish you luck with your endeavours, please do let me know if there's anything you need assistance with that I can help with.

Ossie

Finally got enough sleep to remember. In the event that I do not kill Giles body and he returns to it seek D'vana Tendi. Usually in infirmary. Comes from space future. Very bright and welcoming. Has capacity to painlessly heal without scars. Seems lonely. Wants to work. Probably best option to avoid making a painful return worse.

Ossie-
Hey, just heard what happened: sending you well-wishes, my heartfelt sympthies, etc.💐

Also since you're having a hell of a week I am extending an invitation to 'fuck it we're still alive' karaoke night this weekend if you'd like to yell your feelings into a microphone for an hour or so. 👍

Get well soon,
April

Ossie my plan didnt work tho probably for the best i was hoping if i killed him hed come back as Sharky but Ava made us stop fighting so i dunno if that would have worked shes trying to make the guy possessing him a new body so he can get out of sharky and into his own body maybe we can do the same with giles assuming it works and they wanna be in some frankenstein corpse monster idunno this sux deputy pratt

damn them
damn them blast them to hades and tartarus with the lot of them
the bitch murdered me
the one wearing giles
fuck them

April, you're a treasure
it's terribly awfully appreciated and I will chase you up on it when I feel more like a person.
Thank you for the invitation

Come Sail Away Inbox

A text, at a completely normal hour of the night, definitely.

Follow up text five to ten minutes later

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When timelines permit, a text.

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After Pratt talks to Sharky, before he Judges Sharky

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Cw historic child abuse

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Text, Oct 16th, 8:45 AM

After finding out about his misadventure, but before he's back.

a few days later

Whenever Ossie returns to life

When Ossie revives